So! Where shall I begin?
I won't bore you with the details of where I am and what I do since, if you're reading this, you probably know them already.
Well, this week marks week numéro trois of my seventh semester of college (not counting summer semesters)...and that just feels...strange. Moving to Louisiana to start my second semester feels like yesterday, but somehow at the same time feels like an eternity ago. As I look around me I see several boxes that I've yet to unpack from my recent move, a stack of laundry I need to deal with, my bible and gorgeous red leather journal seated next to me in my bed, and the time on the clock informing me that I should've gone to bed a couple hours ago. Typical me. Messy and up way too late (note to self: do better tomorrow), but I've been itching to get a few posts under my belt on this thing, so...2:00 a.m., we meet again!
I don't know how to put enough fluff around this statement to make it sound acceptable, so I'll just say it plainly: These past couple of years, my relationship with God has been seriously lacking. I unabashedly let the whole "live for yourself" mentality completely take over my life. To the point that a God-fearing friend, out of his growing concern, had to point it out to me. (Which was initially met with resistance and denial on my part. Astoundingly mature, right?? Ugh) Simply put: I was so consumed by the appeal of worldly and fleshly fascinations that I dumped my commitment to having an intimate relationship with the Savior of my soul.
Seriously, self?
Seriously?!? You're going to spend time acting like a typical, self-centered, lost, "go-with-the-flow" college student? Instead of spending some one-on-one time with the One who created you? The One who died for you knowing full well all the times you would fail Him? The One who fulfills every last one of your needs? The One who has a plan and a purpose for your every step on this earth? You're going to ignore His voice when He speaks to you?
Yes. Yes, I did.
BUT!
I started attending Gateway Church in Southlake, TX around September, and God used that place to turn my spiritual life back around. I can't tell you how many tears I have shed worshiping there. After spending so much time not acknowledging God in my life, it is amazing that He is still glad to hear from me. It's unbelievable that He deals with me graciously and patiently. After everything I've done to trample on the salvation He has given me, it is mercifully whole. Gratitude doesn't even cover it. His love is so completely humbling and freeing.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good. How happy is the man who takes refuge in Him!"
-Psalm 34:8-
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