Many of us learned to pray repeating the words, "and forgive me for all my sins." Since the word repentance means to turn and walk in the other direction, we can't possibly repent of something vague and unspecified. For the Spirit to be released from grief to fulfillment, every known sin must be the object of repentance. Blanket prayers of forgiveness with no thought to the object of God's disfavor are a waste of time. We cannot confess what we will not face. We must be specific. Godly grief leads to true repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10).
As long as we experience no sorrow for a sin, we have not fully turned from that sin. We cherish some sins; we treasure them. We do not want to let go of them; therefore, we admit to God we have committed them, but we lack the sorrow that would give us the strength to turn away.
-Beth Moore
This is one of many nuggets of truth in the study on the fruit of the Spirit I'm doing right now. I had to post one, and this was first on the list.
I am currently going through a bible study entitled Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit by Beth Moore. Today's lesson was over Galatians 2:20 and entitled "Crucified."
Now, typically when I see a big giant booklet with a bunch of blanks that you're supposed to fill in yourself, I get a little weirded out when it's a bible study. I love reading the Word, but when it's in the context of read and then fill-in-the-blanks with your observations, answer all of these questions about what you just read...it just looks funny to me. Like, it takes away the holiness of the bible and forces me to dumb it down into my lingo and limited understanding. Regardless, I wanted to do a bible study so here I am, and I am so glad that the Lord laid it on my heart to do this one. I'm just on day three but every single day I've gotten a huge knot in my throat going through the lesson. (Note to self- it's probably safe to say that the majority of your pre-conceived notions are ridiculous, LB. Get rid of them!)
This isn't a detached, intellectual study of scripture. It's pulled me into a deeper understanding of His many truths in a very personal, specific way. Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Beth goes on to make ten points:
1. Few will understand- When you seriously live life crucified to self and alive in Christ, you find out really quickly that few understand. Many people even find it confrontational- sometimes even other believers.
2. You must abandon your own will and your own agenda- When you stick to your own personal agenda and continue to cater to your own will, the specific, personalized, daily will of God will be thwarted in you.
Christ himself had to pray, "not my will, but yours." If the Son of God uttered these words, we're going to deal with this issue.
3. Your intimate spiritual companions will be few- She says, "I am not suggesting or encouraging spiritual elitism: nothing could be further from God's will. I am, however, suggesting that there may be few who choose to walk this same road with you. Those with whom you can pray deeply and agonize spiritually are unique, indeed! Be thankful for them!"
4. Intense times of aloneness with God are required- Beth states here that, "sometimes God reserves the right to withhold others and pull you aside with Him so that you can experience what David did in 1 Samuel 30:6, 'David found strength in the Lord his God.'" We're not supposed to just spend time with God in church or small group or sunday school or even with just another close believing friend. We're called to spiritual intimacy with our creator. That means one-on-one time.
5. You will be constantly on the witness stand- (referring to Matthew 26:57-67, 1 Peter 3:15-16, and Hebrews 13:12-14) "Matthew describes Jesus' trial. Peter challenges us to be prepared to give an answer. There will never be a time when we are not subject to the observation of others. We will be held under the strictest scrutiny of non-believers and believers alike, continually called to the witness stand...We must decide what we value most. Do we most want to be conformed to the image of Christ, or do we want to be comforted?"
6. You must go "outside the camp"- (Hebrews 13:12-14) God will demand that we move outside our comfort zones. There is no way to escape it- it is the only way to spread His gospel.
7. There will be times when your dignity is forfeited- (Matthew 27:27-31) Jesus was mocked, spit upon, hated, and ridiculed. He didn't lash back. We will, at some point in the future, if not already, have to follow suit.
8. You must forego your rights- Christ could have rightfully called down hosts of angels to carry him back to heaven while he was being mocked on the cross. He could have rightfully refused crucifixion and changed the whole plan of salvation, but he didn't. He humbled himself more than we will ever be able to. He gave up his rights in order to be crucified, and we must give up ours to die to ourselves. Beth says it better than me "You may have rights of your own. You may have the right to be angry, the right to be bitter, the right to leave your husband or give up on that wayward teenager. But to be crucified with Christ means that you volunteer to forego all your personal rights except one: your right as a believer to be filled and led by the Spirit of Christ who dwells within you."
9. You must accept that death is painful- "At times, to choose the will of God is excruciating. We love our flesh and it hurts to have our desires crucified! Never misunderstand pain as permission to forego the will of God...What makes it worthwhile is that, as Christ's life is resurrected in us, other might exclaim in the words of Mary Magdelene, 'I have seen the Lord!' This is the highest calling of all humanity." Amen!!
10. Because He was forsaken, you never will be- "In many ways we identify with Christ. In many ways He shared our lives and experience. Here, however, the parallel ends. Jesus bore the full force of rejection by humanity and separation from the Father. Because He was forsaken, you never will be."
All of these points grabbed me by the heart, but the last one...gosh. She references Romans 8:38-39 with that last point, and even though I've read and heard it all throughout my life, the truth of it washed over me like the wave of a tsunami. I'm finally starting to understand the meaning of "His mercies are new to me every morning." No matter how many times I think to myself, 'God loves me. Jesus died for me. He will never leave me or forsake me,' if God speaks any of those truths to me it's more than I can stand. And speak He did. He gave me a seemingly everlasting moment of really realizing that He is always with me. That He loves me. That He placed all of my guilt, shame, and punishment on his Son. It's so impossible, but at the same time, the truest thing I've known- His love. I am so thankful. So, even though it calls me to die to myself, I'm in. All in.
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39
Here lately I've really been getting into the Word and praying and just spending time with God alone worshiping Him. The huge blessing in being here in Louisiana with virtually no friends is that I have a lot of alone time to do this, and nobody but myself to distract me from it. In this time, God has put a growing passion in my heart for Him. I look forward to being by myself because I get to speak with Him.
It's funny...It's not like I couldn't have this before. I haven't followed any set formula to get here. I haven't changed my behavior to be "acceptable enough" to talk to Him. I've simply made time for Him; and I've found that giving him just a little quality time sets off a chain reaction. A few minutes lead to an hour. And then two, three, etc etc. And in this time, God changes my heart. Then, my behavior naturally changes with my heart. It goes beyond "setting aside some time to read my bible." It's more than a ritual to unwind at the end of the day or to start my day. It's letting go of whatever issues, stresses, pains, or spiritual struggles I'm going through, placing them in His hands, and diving into all that He is. When I let go of myself and put my mind on Him, He works things out. All the gargantuan struggles that I felt so threatened by just moments before are seen through His perspective. Then they look like ants- easily squashed.
The vastness of His being is overwhelming. It's incredible to me that I have access to it 24/7. It is literally IN me: "You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, since the Spirit of God lives in you..." Romans 8:9 Doesn't that just blow your mind? The One who spoke creation out of nothingness DWELLS IN those who surrender to Him. I am so thankful for that. When you experience this indwelling first-hand, it is no longer possible to think of Him only in passing. Anything short of everything is too insignificant a sacrifice. He becomes everything. I feel him moment by moment in the tiniest things. I study His Word and my heart warms at the cognition of the words on the page.
Jesus, thank you so much. Thank you for this passion you've placed within me. Give me words and actions to use to share this love with everyone around me, and I will use them. Amen!
